All good things

The past year of my life can be summed up in this photo (pink + mobile, 24/7):

P.S. ONE MORE DAY! Then I’ll have waited 3 weeks! Feels so exciting! And like it has been forever!

Add comment July 2nd, 2008 at 10:58pm

“No” is the best yes you will ever get

Right now, I am a bit of a stress-wreck. Feeling sick from stress of my current situation.

I am reminded of the only speaker I’ve seen whose advice has stuck in my head. She was speaking at a Society of Women Engineers panel at UC San Diego my junior year when I was the SWE VP. She was a quirky Asian woman who didn’t have the usual frou-frou “women need to empower themselves and support each other” BS to say. She spoke of her professional and educational failures - and how failure has made her so much stronger - which is probably why it resonated with me.

To sum it up, she said that you should never be afraid to ask for something you want. What’s the worst that can happen? You get a “no” and end up where you started - without whatever it was you asked for. And is that so bad? I think not.

12 hours after I wrote this post, I have to add this: “and is that so bad?” Yes, yes it was. Adages are lies.

Add comment July 2nd, 2008 at 12:44pm

Decisive, eh?

It would be a lie for me to say I am very bad at making hard decisions. I’m very good at discerning the facts vs. the hopes, the benefits vs. the loss. I’m very good at making pro and con lists so I can look at everything very rationally and place value on items. I’m very good at making premeditated moves. I’m very good at seeking help and advice from those I respect.

But I’m also scared as hell to carry out these decisions. My decision making skills have failed me before and led me down the wrong path. I’ve beat myself up for the wrong courses of actions so many times that I’m deadly afraid to be wrong now.

So basically, I’m deathly afraid right now. So much to lose, yet nothing to lose at all, really. I mean, I told someone I’d wait for them for 3 weeks without second guessing the decision once. How can I keep second guessing myself here?  Do one thing, one of two things may happen.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.

Add comment June 30th, 2008 at 10:18pm

Of Mormons and JH

I spent most of my weekend hanging out with Trev:

Whose brother was in town from Taiwan:

And pretty much spent my weekend watching their Zoolander poses:

But I got some shots of the Golden Gate Bridge!

Also spent some time with the ever wonderful JH whom I haven’t seen in a long while. I’m trying to keep to my promise of not letting so much time pass by again It was a much needed relaxing weekend, surrounded by gorgeous people (which I think I need more of in my life!).

And then my phone got bricked. That was pretty shitty. Oh well, iPhone 11th is coming up.

Add comment June 29th, 2008 at 11:39pm

Most exciting day

This is the most exciting day I’ve had in a while! I seriously jumped up and down in excitement. OMG OMG OMG!

Add comment June 27th, 2008 at 01:59pm

I like to talk about work way too much

Sometimes I miss the anonymity of being a blogger that no one cares about and no one in my real life can find. I’m not sure why, but when you Google my name, this website comes up and I never mention my real name. Sigh. So that means I can’t talk about how absolutely fabulous, yet really weird, my day has been. Huge product launch at work that has personal value to me since it involves my personal phone and had some nice chats with some nice people. Also helped out T with some stuff and it was great to “chat” with him Can’t wait until July 4th!

Speaking of work, we are having a company picnic this Friday at some lake. Reminds me of when I was 5 or 6 years old and my mom’s company had a picnic in Saratoga. I really liked that they had a swing set. That was it.

Add comment June 24th, 2008 at 11:46pm

Great weekend!

My wonderful weekend started with an all-day shopping trip in the intense heat (it was 95*F!). We shopped the Mission, South Park and the Fillmore in Pac Heights. We stopped for cold drinks every 2 shops or so to keep hydrated

Denise & I at Grove Cafe

Me & Six-eyed Vincent

One group birthday dinner later, we were all at my house for some cake from Citizen Cake and my magnum bottle of Mumm Napa Brut.

Party ensued with Horace monkeyin’ around..

Too many people hanging out in my kitchen..

But of course it’s not a party at my house unless I make people take shots of tequila with me

And lots of people loving my cat (and the great bouquet Horace brought)!

The next morning, I made us all a brunch of banana pancakes, asparagus scramble and mimosas!

Then we proceeded to spend 4 hours at a wine bar drinking and feasting on raw oysters, duck leg and roasted chicken. Great weekend! I’m sad everyone is gone.

Add comment June 23rd, 2008 at 11:12pm

She loved him more than she loved being with him

What is love? What defines love to you? Is it something that you experienced first hand, decided it was love and held all love afterwards to that standard? These days, I find myself hard-pressed to verbalize what love is. I’ve wavered from ideas of true love to thinking that love is a fleeting passion that occurs quite frequently.

Some people define and treat love like it is a business deal.  A set of rules, some companionship, draft up contracts on disagreements, NDAs..  I’d be quick to label that as stringent and disenchanted.  In all honesty, I think our definitions of love are heavily influenced by our social media.  One of the most shaping and popular quotes at the moment:

I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.
- Carrie Bradshaw

I agree with it.  Love has always been that way for me and not just with people.  There are things in my life that I love so much, so ridiculously, that I don’t think I could ever be without them.  So I’m glad I don’t

(end of fluffy entry)

Add comment June 20th, 2008 at 04:54pm

But brakes are a necessity

The only disappointment I’ve had with my Mazda3 ownership thus far has been

and

until recently. During routine maintenance and oil changes, I’ve been alerted that my rear brakes are wearing quickly and I wasn’t even at 50k mi yet. Now that I’m a bit past 50k mi, I’m hearing obvious squeaks and grinding when I hit my brakes, plus the obvious lengthening in distance to make a complete stop. Complete bullshit! I don’t see how my rear brakes are wearing out 2x faster than my front brakes! Mazda must have used some really cheap rear rotors and brake pads, ugh. So a few hundred dollars later, I will be safer to drive to Napa for wine tasting, but poorer to buy wines to imbibe. Sigh.

1 comment June 19th, 2008 at 11:44pm

I am your father

I was just looking at my previous entries and saw this photo of me in one of them and realized - I look like my father.

While growing up, so many of my relatives would always say how I resembled my father and my sister resembled my mother. As a daughter being told she looked like her father, I wasn’t too pleased about it in my childhood years. Top that with all sorts of kids making fun of me for looking like a boy all the way until high school - I absolutely resented that sentiment anytime I heard it. I also didn’t see much resemblance between me and my father (but I’m also really bad at facial recognition and such).

Looking at it now - we have the same facial bone structure. The hair came from the other side of the family though

Add comment June 18th, 2008 at 12:35pm