Wendyness.com :: Journal

The Plan

// June 28th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday, Photos

The plan began with a sense of restlessness, the desire to make a pointed change. It was pushed a little further with a quote from E,

“I’ve always tried to teach you two things, 007. First, never let them see you bleed.”
“And the second?”
“Always have an escape plan.”
- Q and Bond, The World is Not Enough

So with that, we have before:

And after:

The death of pink and the domination of black.

That’s just the first part of the plan though. The rest will come in steps.

I also got my new cat, CinnaCat!

Two things I loved today

// June 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday, Stuff I Like

I’ve always had the ability to fall in love another’s words.. But never have been good at picking up myself after that. Not even good at stopping myself from falling in love with words. Too bad words aren’t people. Two songs & thus, lyrics, I fell in love with today:

Freemasons – Uninvited

Like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave..

Coheed and Cambria – Wake Up (acoustic)

I’ve earned through hope and faith
On the curves around your face
That I’m the one you’ll hold forever..

What I want in a boyfriend

// June 23rd, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Everyday, Relationships, Stuff I Like

I guess I can admit that I’m starting to try to date again, albeit half-heartedly. One of my old college ex’s whom I was friends with after the fact always has good advice about dating. He told me to make a list of what I’m looking for in a boyfriend and then stick to it – the idea that having a list would make me not settle for less than who I was looking for. Today, I read What I Want in a Partner on Jolie Odell’s blog and she made a call for such lists. So I’m going to create a new list and post it here. Kind of scary because I’m sure this will come back and bite me in the near future :P

The list:

• I want someone who is into tech and/or design (the Valley!) because that’s what I’m passionate about and I want someone who will excitedly stand in line with me for an iPhone launch or debate about A/B tests vs. multivariate tests.
• I want someone who is as kind as he is tough.
• I want someone who is certain of himself.
• I want someone with good hair. This was important when I was 16 and it still is now.
• I want someone who knows how to truly listen and can empathize with others. I don’t think you can listen to others until you can listen to yourself, so this says a lot about a person.
• I want someone who knows how to communicate VERY clearly about their feelings and with others. I like to talk about things up and down, in and out, until every angle and crevice has been explored. THEN the topic is over.
• I want someone who likes my crazy — I think everyone has some kind of crazy, we just look for the kind we like.
• I want someone who is curious: about the world, about human nature, about mundane things, about me, about everything.
• I want someone who likes to be over-stimulated by aesthetics.
• I want someone who is intelligent, motivated and ethical in the ways that I am not.
• I want someone who is comfortable with their (at times?) childish heart and spirit.
• I want someone I share physical, mental and emotional chemistry with. Being a Scorpio like myself doesn’t hurt ;)
• I want someone who appreciates, accepts and cherishes me for who I am (the ex mentioned above suggested this one!).
• I want someone who can let go and laugh with me. I often find things funny and the course of most of my good friendships is in laughter.
• I want someone who, while he has habits, can drop them when appropriate and be spontaneous. Live.
• I want someone who can communicate without words.
• I want someone who will respect them.
• I want someone who is logical and rational, but still balanced by his passion.
• I want someone who will inspire me to become a better person, who will likewise be inspired by me.
• I want someone who can really/still love.

That is all I can think of for now :) I’m quite happy with this list. Thank you for the inspiration, Corey and Jolie!

Just throw it!

// June 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday, Photos

While I did many things this weekend, this photo and the following caption shall serve as my summary.

Scene: past midnight, in the lot of an abandoned building, concrete slab with a lonely old-school computer monitor.

Me: Do you have a baseball bat? I want to go Office Space on this monitor!
Friend: Just throw it!
Me: It’s heavy!
Friend: Just get really angry and throw it!

I’m a sponge, but don’t call me Bob

// June 19th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday

I have a spongy personality: I soak things up and wring them back out. My dad told me when I was very young, I would watch television and constantly ask my parents, “Is that real?” Another time, when I was probably 8 or 9 years old, my sister got frustrated with me because I was repeatedly mimcking something I had seen in a movie. Our dad told her that I was a kid and mimicking things I had seen was just what kids did.

Now that I’m older, I definitely see the spongyness as something that hasn’t parted with my personality. Whenever I hang out with certain friends for a while, I start picking up their accent or intonation or something else subtle about them. For a while last year, I hung out with a Danish guy and his accent led all his statements to end with an upwards intonation, so everything sounded a bit like a question. The lilt in intonation crept into my voice here and there and some friends noticed.

I kind of feel like I’m spony with everything though. It’s definitely something I’m very aware of and thus choose my company [somewhat] wisely.

Third Eye Blind

// June 19th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday, Stuff I Like

I saw Third Eye Blind play for free tonight as park of San Jose’s summer park concert series. Tonight is in serious competition with last night as best night this week thus far. Last night I went to Absinthe with a friend I haven’t seen in a while and had delicious drinks. He’s also completely gorgeous. I’ll love a man for his manners and mannerisms.

Possibly one of my favorite Third Eye Blind songs (stupid still YouTube video, but the song is there):

Confession of some sort

// June 16th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday, Relationships

I realize that a large part of who I am is defined by my constant need to evolve and improve. If I spent a period of time being self-aware of my flaws and not trying to change them for the better, then I honestly feel as though that time has been a waste. So I was wrong in my last post when I said that change comes in “periods” for me.

Recently, I spent 215 days being happy and rather complacent. I didn’t evolve in this time because (post-fire) I was dragged out of my comfort zone and I think I just clung on to what presented itself as my new comfort zone. In the last 45 days that I’ve been over thinking (though a friend says I think about the right things and that’s what counts), I’ve changed more than I had in 215. That makes me happy.

Tangentially, E told me a few days ago that I breathe shallow breaths. It seemed like he was implying that taking deep breaths means one is relaxed.. Since then, I’ve been overly aware of my breathing.

I am flawed if I’m not free

// June 15th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday

During my formative years in school, I was intensely shy and quiet. It would be such a rare moment for me to speak that a teacher once asked my parents if I was mute. Even at home, I wasn’t very chatty and I certainly didn’t speak to my sister (who stole my stuffed animals and picked on me as an older sister does :P). Around my few friends, I was the quiet one. This continued on to high school and early college, though by then I was certainly more comfortable being talkative amongst friends. I was also a strange child. I didn’t like playing in the playground during recess or lunch. I was one of those kids who “volunteered” my play time to go help out in the nurses office, or in high school, sit around in the computer lab doing stuff for my teacher.

The turning point in my personality was at 20. Something happened and it sent me in a tailspin. All the events in the 2 years that followed shaped me – made me more outgoing, loud, outspoken, fearless to some degree.. I think that period alone paved the path for most of who I was to become (or who I am now, depends how you want to see it).

So it’s kind of strange when people from high school or early to mid college contact me via Facebook. I get the now standard line of, “Oh wow, you’ve changed.” Yes, I have. I’m absolutely not the person you recall and really.. You didn’t know me all that well anyway. I suppose at heart, I am still the same person because some ideals are hard to change, but I just have more layers now.

I got to thinking about this today because I feel like I’m changing again. Not drastically, but some of my convictions seem to be changing. Though I’m unsure if my convictions are actually changing, or if I’m just feeling weird. Guess I’ll find out!

A busy, happy bee

// June 9th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday, Photos

Being busy is a fine thing if you’re busy doing a bunch of things you really enjoy. My sister and our friend came to visit this past weekend for her birthday and it was super fun! We spent the weekend in Sonoma wine tasting, a usual activity whenever the three of us are together. Lots of great food, great wine and great times. The drive up and through Sonoma was beautiful, too.

The three of us:

My favorite photo of me and my sister from the trip:

Then I spent today on an engineering team offsite. We had some BBQ, I joined in on one game of ultimate frisbee and the guys played some football. While relaxing, I took a lot of photos, finished a book and got a slight tan. My favorite photo from today (I like the colors):

A cool bridge near the beach:

And this is the only photo of me since I was behind the camera the rest of the time:

Of the symphony

// June 5th, 2009 // No Comments » // Everyday, Photos

Spent the evening at the San Francisco Symphony yesterday listening to their presentation of Schubert and Berg. Notable points of the evening included:

Me getting ready for the Symphony in less than 15 minutes.

The view of City Hall from Davies Symphony Hall.

And of course the symphony itself – the building was just as impressive.

I also got to spend a few hours in the space of one Eston Bond. I’ve been spending more time with user experience, user interface and interaction designers lately and something just clicks well. Maybe it takes a type to be such a designer, but I find a lot of similarities and understanding amongst this type.. My type. Perhaps I’ve been approaching it wrong all these years when I was trying to understand and coexist with engineers! Most people seem to stick to their own kind and now I can fully understand why.